From The World of Learned Friends.

Reported in the Nairobi Bar Association Lawyers

monthly Journal, the following are questions actually

asked of witnesses by lawyers during Trials and, in

certain cases, the responses given by insightful
witnesses:


1. "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies
in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the
next morning?"



2. "The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is
he?" (by Kibugi Muite)



3. "Were you present when your picture was taken?"
            (Imanyara G.)



4. "Were you alone or by yourself?"



5. "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed
      in the war?"



6. "Did he kill you?"



7. "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the
     collision?" (some lawyer from Kiambu)



8. "You were there until the time you left, is that
     true?"



9. "How many times have you committed suicide?" 

           ( by Amos Wako)



10. Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was
            August 8th?"

A: "Yes."

Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"
          (Ochieng OndeyoAdvocates)



11. Q: "She had three children, right?"

A: "Yes."

Q: "How many were boys?"

A: "None."

Q: "Were there any girls?" (Mugo Muriuki & Co.)



12. Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"

A: "Yes."

Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
      (Kanyi Advocates)



13. Q: "Mr. Kimani, you went on a rather elaborate
            honeymoon,didn't you?

A: "I went to Europe, sir."

Q: "And you took your new wife?"



14. Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"

A: "By death."

Q: "And by whose death was it terminated?"



15. Q: "Can you describe the individual?"

A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."

Q: "Was this a male or female?"



16. Q: "Is your appearance here this morning
           pursuantto a position notice which I sent to your
           lawyer?"

A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."



17. Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed
            on dead people?"

A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead
     people."



18. Q: "All your responses must be oral,OK? What
            school did you go to?"

A: "Oral."



19. Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the
            body?"

A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m."

Q: "And Mr. Mbogori was dead at the time?"

A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering
     why I was doing an autopsy."



20. Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?"

      A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and
           the naval."



21. Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"

      A: "I have been since early childhood."